adoiy.
assalamualaikum wbt...
bersawang,berhabuk,berdebu,ber ape lagi... aaa...punye la nak bagitau yang dah lame gila x usik blog ni.kekadang tu dah tergerak hati nak update,nak cerita macam2,tapi bila fikir balik,ah.nanti lah.
hahaha.
jahat betei perangai.
emmm....
ekceli,menulis kali ni pun sebab it feels like tak ade sesiapa yang nak dikongsikan ape yang dok bermain dalam kepala hotak ni,simpan sendiri je ape yang hati ni rase. so bila fikir balik,ape guna ade blog,yedak? baik lah menulis kat sini,untong2 kalo ade sesape yang bace, yang rajin nak tulis komen,nak bagi nasihat ke pe ape,bleh gak bace.maklom la,blog byase2 gini je,ramai mane sangat la follower nye kan?
ok lah.straight to the point.ape yang payah nye? ni la nak bitau.ermm.. ekceli,payah yang dimaksudkan ni adelah payah dalam soal hati. why? sebab kisah hati seorang saya ni amat rumit. why? sebab hati saya yang agak banyak kali jugak berderai ni selalu sangat jatuh (a.k.a fall in love gitteww) pade lelaki yang rumit.
i am the type of girl yang bila dah suka dekat someone tu, akan dengan yang sorang tu je lah. and i will not go and say "HI!" to any person or guy yang kelihatan menarik pada pandangan saya semata2 sebab saya suka dia.i'm the passive type when it comes to love.orang sekarang ni cakap,kalau kite tak make the first move,melepas la kan? but for me,i'll stick to the old ways. let the guys make their moves first.old skool gila kan? pedulik hape. i am the girl with pride and prejudice.hahahaha :P in terms of prejudice tu,ekceli sebab x berape nak pecaye sangat kat lelaki yang tak dikenali. tanye lah people around me,mostly nisah la,my cousin,she'd seen most of me acting up like a cold person to someone yang saya tak kenal. a strange guy tegur saya suddenly out of nowhere,saya akan pandang dye macam nak cari gaduh.coz i'm not comfortable.hahahaha :P
ok,macam tu la saya seadanye.my dad did ask me though,bila saya bagitau dye yang this person yang satu ofis dengan dia ni ade di facebook.and my dad suruh saya add and say "HI!". my response to my dad was like, "NO.NEVER.IMPOSSIBRU!",hahahah...LOL! he's a good guy,yeah. even my dad likes him.but me making the first move? forget it.never gonna happen.
but come to think of it,memang pernah make the first move.i come to like this guy,who is a close friend of mine.and he's a bout to fly oversea to continue his studies.tu lah kan,memikirkan ayat orang sekarang guna tu lah,"kalau tak make the first move,nanti melepas,", i take him out for lunch and we talked in my car.i told him about my feelings and we went awkward for a few days.and he ends up saying NO,and we're friends still until today. rejection hurts? yes.indeed. but time will heal anything,right?
and as time passed,there's this someone yang masih tak boleh dipadam,dilupa,diliquid-paper kan,di clorox kan,di vanish kan,dan sebagainye yang berkaitan dari hati kecik ni.aduiy...masalah!! he's with his ego and i'm with mine.sometimes ego can stand in the way,kan? rase macam tercalar jugak ego ni bila dah rindu sangat tu,sms jugak la skali.kalo dye x reply,ah...rase macam nak marah pon ade,tapi ego punye pasal,lantak pegi je la ngan dye.esok nye try call,skali je.ego punye pasal.and dye tak jawab.arghhh!! bengkak jugak hati.tapi lantak kan.ego punya pasal.
ni lah dye,bile bertepuk sebelah tangan.ekceli in my case,x tau la nak kate bertepuk sebelah tangan ke x,sebab we both know our feelings towards each other,tapi he didn't want to be in a relationship. if we're about to have one,it's gonna be called marriage. but then,what am i? i don't even know it myself.
only GOD knows what lies deep in our hearts. :)
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